It
has been estimated that we each have upwards of 50,000 thoughts per day. How
many of yours are negative? Sometimes you have to do a mental spring-cleaning
to get rid of those negative thoughts that have become ingrained attitudes.
Stopping self-destructive thoughts is like stopping any other bad habit—it
takes time and effort.
Among
the most effective ways to do this are visualization and affirmations.
Affirmations are positive statements about yourself that you repeat over and over
in your head until they are programmed into your subconscious.
Visualization
is mentally picturing yourself the way you want to be. You’ve heard the old
saying, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Well, the reverse is also true: “I’ll
see it when I believe it!”
Affirmations
and visualizations may not feel true at first—they may not even be true!
However, they can become so.
Consider
what happens when you tell yourself repeatedly, “I’m lousy at remembering
names.” There will never be any improvement there. Therefore, if you catch
yourself saying it, stop and immediately say, “I’m good at remembering names.”
Consider
the effect of telling yourself, “I’m feeling pretty good today.” “I can lose 10
pounds.” Or, “I am good at getting people to see things my way.” Anything you
say to yourself repeatedly will actually influence your reality.
Writing
down your affirmations and putting them in some handy place—above your desk, on
your bathroom mirror, on the dashboard of your car—will help keep them in mind
as well as in sight. Use affirmations and visualizations to project what
success will feel and look like.
Imagine,
in as much detail as you possibly can, how you feel as the boss singles you out
for exceeding your quota, or how the audience hangs on your every word during
your speech, or how your confident presence causes heads to turn everywhere you
go.
To
enhance your charisma and persuasion (while making others feel good about
themselves), you can apply the very same techniques by turning them outward.
Begin thinking positive affirmations
about people you work and live with.
For
example, “Bob seems much calmer and patient of late. I wonder what has changed
in him.” During your next interaction with Bob, you will most likely remember
your positive thought about him and start your conversation with, “Bob, I’ve
noticed a change in you. You seem really kind and patient while counseling your
new employees recently and I admire that. How did you
acquire this wonderful characteristic?”
Bob
would likely respond with a smile and a story about a book he found, a
consultant he hired or a seminar he attended. Regardless of his reply, you have
sincerely complimented another person, put out a positive thought and begun a
new habit of approaching others using “appreciative inquiry”—finding the good
in another person or situation first, instead of finding
fault or flaws.
Criticizing
is easy, and sometimes becomes habit, but retraining your mind to find the
positive attributes in yourself and others will win you friends, increase your
income and make you feel better about being a better you.
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