Paradigm Shifting

I discovered the book "Remember The Ice....And Other Paradigm Shifts" by Bob Nicoll several months ago and purchased it.  I thought the concept of empowering word choices to enhance your communication sounded interesting since I am a coach, speak to many people, wanted to start a blog, and aspired to move into public speaking.

The book begins with the story around the title "Remember The Ice".  The story is simple, yet powerful and proves how a simple shift in word choice can make a huge difference.  The book then moves into eliminating key words from your vocabulary that include the Hit List Six all within the first chapter.  The   book has nine chapters that range from "Learning How You Learn" and "Empowering vs. Disempowering Word Choice" to "Framework of Rapport" and "Circling The Situation" (or shifting personal paradigms).

I started practicing the concepts in the book by eliminating the words "try", "not", and "should" from my vocabulary.  OK, eliminating "try" was fairly easy.  Instead of using the word "try", I now commit to the task.........For example, "I will try to make the meeting" is replaced with "I will make the meeting".  Making this small change commits you and it is done.

Eliminating "should" was also fairly easy when I understood that "should" never happened....... For example, "I should have went to the meeting" is replaced with "I missed the meeting".  Again, making this small change has me take ownership and do something about it.

The most difficult word to eliminate for me is "not".  This includes the words "don't", "can't", "won't".........you get the idea.

I am amazed how many times I say this, even today.  Instead of saying (or writing) what you don't want, say what you want.  Saying what you want is an empowering alternative, according to Bob Nicoll, to saying what you don't want.  I totally get it and I still find this a challenge, even though I have improved.

At first, I would find myself pausing when I wanted to use "try", "should", or "not" in the middle of a conversation.  This pause would trigger my brain to think of another way to say what I wanted to say.

Of course, this behavior generated some strange looks when there was about 15 to 30 seconds of abrupt silence during the conversation with my eyes wandering around wondering how I would replace these words.  After the pause, I continued, and changed the entire sentence or thought.  If someone asked if I was feeling OK (and it did happen), I would tell them what I was up to.

I can tell a huge difference in my speech and my coaching by using the concepts in the book.  I have even brought these concepts into my coaching sessions and asked clients to eliminate "try", "should", and "not".  My clients have stated that the shift was powerful and increased their confidence as well improved some of their relationships (including their relationship with themselves).

The author, Bob Nicoll, calls himself Chief Paradigm Shifter and I believe him.  This little book has had a big impact on me and I bet it will for you too.  I would highly recommend it.

You can get the book on Amazon and I also encourage you to check out Bob Nicoll's website http://www.remembertheice.com/